This Beauty Called Singleness

From one single woman to another, I really want to encourage you to hold on to the true beauty of singleness.

I’m 27. A young woman in the Lord, just like many of you. And I understand the desire to want to be married and have a family. But I also understand the importance of waiting on the Lord to meet that desire. And the beauty and the freedom we have in our singleness with Christ. I didn’t always understand that, I spent countless years dealing with randoms (guys you know you will never marry and use to fill the void in your heart) and being stung with heartache, disappointment, and broken promises.

It wasn’t until this past summer that I really began to enjoy the beauty and freedom we have in singleness. I wanted to attend the Legacy Conference in Chicago the year before, but was working for a ministry here in Houston that summer and could not attend. But this past summer, I was a high school teacher with the entire summer off. So about a week before the Legacy Conference, I booked my flight to Chicago to attend the conference by myself!

And as a single woman, I was free to do that! I had no one to discuss the trip with except the Lord. I didn’t have to discuss finances with a spouse or figure out who would watch the kids. I was just able to pray and ask the Lord is this where You want me to go? And when He said yes, I went!

While there, I was able to have undivided devotion to the Lord. Able to read my Word, worship, pray, and write to the Lord anytime and anywhere – whether at the conference, in my room, or at Oak Street Beach. I was able to give my Lord His much deserved, undivided devotion.

This is the freedom we have in singleness. But what is freedom if we treat it like a prison?

In 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 (NIV) Paul says:

“I would like you to be free from concern… An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and Spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world – how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.”

As a single woman, I am both free and able to give the Lord undivided devotion. That is the beauty of singleness!

How then should we use this beauty called singleness? Rather than daydreaming about the perfect man, creating pinterest boards of our future weddings, or constantly struggling with another random guy, let’s devote ourselves to the Lord. Let’s ask the Lord what He wants us to with this beauty called singleness.

Let’s ask things like:

  • God, where do you want me to go? Do I stay where I am, Lord? Or do I move cities, switch careers, or do mission overseas for 3 months?
  • Lord, with all the free time I have, who and where do I serve? Is there an elderly woman I can run errands for or visit? Or a married couple who would use a babysitter and a date night? Or a group of teens I can mentor and disciple?
  • God, what things do I need to deal with in my heart? Do I still struggle to forgive, a lack of faith, or doubt? Do I lack accountability? In what ways do I offend You? I have an unlimited amount of time to deal with my problems, can you help me?

Rather than wait for the day our status changes from single to married, let’s use this freedom in undivided devotion to the Lord. Using our time to pray, read the Word, worship Him, seek Him, and ask the tough question:

God, with this beauty called singleness, what do you want me to do with it?

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    1. Aww, thanks so much! That’s what it’s the blog was all about – helping women see their potential with Christ. Looking forward to whatever God may have planned for you!

  1. One word….Dope!!! Love it sis!…. This will encourage many women to understand that their devotion to the Lord is a beautiful thing and not something to dred or wish to fly by!!

  2. Alisha, this hit a soft spot in my heart. I have a 3yr. old daughter and am a single mother. I often wonder when i will meet my husband, to the point it is indeed sometimes a burden, a prison. Thank you for taking your time and writing this blog. It has reminded me that I do have much purpose outside of being married at this present time. Although I don’t have the physical help I desire in life with my daughter through a husband,..I have wonderful family and friends, and God who is a very present help in times of trouble. Love you Hun!! Keep on writing to us and to the nations.

    1. Aww, thank you, Alain! That really means a lot to me to know that you were encouraged by this post. Although, I don’t understand what it’says like to be a single mother, I do believe God has a wonderful plan for your current singleness. And I pray that you begin to see that plan manifest in your life. I know it’s hard waiting on the Lord for a husband, but you are absolutely right that you have many people who love and care for you! Keep pushing, Alain! Looking forward to what God will do in your current season!

  3. Such wise words Alisha! And there is a contentment between the lines that I am sure resonates and brings hope to many single women! I’ve been divorced for 20 years, and took a break from dating even, for two years. It’s going on three now, and every year God teaches me more and more on what it really means to be woman of God. You have that going on and are mentoring too, to many I’d say!

    1. Thank you for the kind words, Lynn! Praying that many more women are seeking the Lord, just like you are, to find out what it means to be a woman of God – whether single or married! Blessings!

  4. God, what things do I need to deal with in my heart? Do I still struggle to forgive, a lack of faith, or doubt? Do I lack accountability? In what ways do I offend You? I have an unlimited amount of time to deal with my problems, can you help me?

    The testimonies on your blog are evidence that this is the will of the Spirit of God for the heart issues in our culture, our families, our communities and churches to become the focus for inspection and evaluation. We can discern the times and the hour of our Lord’s return is near. We pray in agreement that the Lord will help us to allow his word as a Xray of the soul and heart issues we are carrying within each of these earth vessels or between our two ears in the cerebellum. Love you Alisha Blue. You’re using these gifts to bring your gifts alive and the gifts of others pouring out brokenness to the father and receiving wholeness with purpose to bring dead things to life.

  5. It’s saddening how people get a limited understanding of the WORD and they assume “Submit” means to control. Marriage is a team process! The two of you should be best friends at most moments working toward a similar task. I long to have a God-fearing wife that will be as a Noble Berean. Not assuming because someone is of leadership they hold ALL of the facts. A man can be near-flawless in one particular subject or task, but when it comes to some other topics, he may just be leaning on an understanding other than God’s. As people of The LORD, we should care enough about HIM that we are willing to obey HIM even when our leaders, husbands, bosses, pastors, or whoever says otherwise. I long to have a wife that will examine the scriptures with me. Yes, it’s very important to have a Pastor in our lives, but with so many claiming to be Christians why is everyone still getting a slightly different story. As women or men in the LORD, we should take heed the information given from our leaders (pastors, parents, husbands) but we should still have discernment and study the scriptures just as the Noble-Minded Bereans. Many husbands and leaders with convincing stories, but only one TRUTH. Women and Children of God, refuse to be a slave to spiritual or mental bondage, depression, and the such. We have been set free! Not free do do wrong, but FreedInCHRIST!

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