This Beauty Called Singleness

From one single woman to another, I really want to encourage you to hold on to the true beauty of singleness.

I’m 27. A young woman in the Lord, just like many of you. And I understand the desire to want to be married and have a family. But I also understand the importance of waiting on the Lord to meet that desire. And the beauty and the freedom we have in our singleness with Christ. I didn’t always understand that, I spent countless years dealing with randoms (guys you know you will never marry and use to fill the void in your heart) and being stung with heartache, disappointment, and broken promises.

It wasn’t until this past summer that I really began to enjoy the beauty and freedom we have in singleness. I wanted to attend the Legacy Conference in Chicago the year before, but was working for a ministry here in Houston that summer and could not attend. But this past summer, I was a high school teacher with the entire summer off. So about a week before the Legacy Conference, I booked my flight to Chicago to attend the conference by myself!

And as a single woman, I was free to do that! I had no one to discuss the trip with except the Lord. I didn’t have to discuss finances with a spouse or figure out who would watch the kids. I was just able to pray and ask the Lord is this where You want me to go? And when He said yes, I went!

While there, I was able to have undivided devotion to the Lord. Able to read my Word, worship, pray, and write to the Lord anytime and anywhere – whether at the conference, in my room, or at Oak Street Beach. I was able to give my Lord His much deserved, undivided devotion.

This is the freedom we have in singleness. But what is freedom if we treat it like a prison?

In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul says:

“I would like you to be free from concern… An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and Spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world – how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.”

As a single woman, I am both free and able to give the Lord undivided devotion. That is the beauty of singleness!

How then should we use this beauty called singleness? Rather than daydreaming about the perfect man, creating pinterest boards of our future weddings, or constantly struggling with another random guy, let’s devote ourselves to the Lord. Let’s ask the Lord what He wants us to with this beauty called singleness.

Let’s ask things like:

  • God, where do you want me to go? Do I stay where I am, Lord? Or do I move cities, switch careers, or do mission overseas for 3 months?
  • Lord, with all the free time I have, who and where do I serve? Is there an elderly woman I can run errands for or visit? Or a married couple who would use a babysitter and a date night? Or a group of teens I can mentor and disciple?
  • God, what things do I need to deal with in my heart? Do I still struggle to forgive, a lack of faith, or doubt? Do I lack accountability? In what ways do I offend You? I have an unlimited amount of time to deal with my problems, can you help me?

Rather than wait for the day our status changes from single to married, let’s use this freedom in undivided devotion to the Lord. Using our time to pray, read the Word, worship Him, seek Him, and ask the tough question:

God, with this beauty called singleness, what do you want me to do with it?

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  1. Natasha Brazil says:

    That was soooo awesome! Well put! #SinglenessisNOTaprison! Unlimited journies & time with our God!

    1. Alisha Blue says:

      Thanks, love!

  2. Barbara Darnell says:

    Alisha this was amazing ! This gives me some confirmation on some things I’ve been thinking about !

    1. Alisha Blue says:

      Aww, thanks so much! That’s what it’s the blog was all about – helping women see their potential with Christ. Looking forward to whatever God may have planned for you!

  3. JoVon says:

    One word….Dope!!! Love it sis!…. This will encourage many women to understand that their devotion to the Lord is a beautiful thing and not something to dred or wish to fly by!!

    1. Alisha Blue says:

      Thanks, love! Praying that many women will be encouraged by this piece and begin to understand that singleness really is a beautiful thing!

  4. Alain Noel says:

    Alisha, this hit a soft spot in my heart. I have a 3yr. old daughter and am a single mother. I often wonder when i will meet my husband, to the point it is indeed sometimes a burden, a prison. Thank you for taking your time and writing this blog. It has reminded me that I do have much purpose outside of being married at this present time. Although I don’t have the physical help I desire in life with my daughter through a husband,..I have wonderful family and friends, and God who is a very present help in times of trouble. Love you Hun!! Keep on writing to us and to the nations.

    1. Alisha Blue says:

      Aww, thank you, Alain! That really means a lot to me to know that you were encouraged by this post. Although, I don’t understand what it’says like to be a single mother, I do believe God has a wonderful plan for your current singleness. And I pray that you begin to see that plan manifest in your life. I know it’s hard waiting on the Lord for a husband, but you are absolutely right that you have many people who love and care for you! Keep pushing, Alain! Looking forward to what God will do in your current season!

  5. Lynn says:

    Such wise words Alisha! And there is a contentment between the lines that I am sure resonates and brings hope to many single women! I’ve been divorced for 20 years, and took a break from dating even, for two years. It’s going on three now, and every year God teaches me more and more on what it really means to be woman of God. You have that going on and are mentoring too, to many I’d say!

    1. Alisha Blue says:

      Thank you for the kind words, Lynn! Praying that many more women are seeking the Lord, just like you are, to find out what it means to be a woman of God – whether single or married! Blessings!

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