Over the past week, I’ve been seeing this advertisement for an event entitled “Single, Saved, and Still Wanting Sex… I Still Want It: A Transparent Conversation About Being Holy and Horny”! Reactions to the event ranged from laughter, to being appalled that the church would even hold such an event, and to finally, the church is keeping it real! The event has yet to happen, but many already have their opinions and feel it is just too much – too vulgar, too direct – and just not something we need to talk about.
Regardless of how you may feel about the event, I think it raises the very important question:
Does the church talk about sex enough?
And I don’t mean the same old “just wait until marriage” talk. I mean do we really talk about sex. Are singles able to talk about their sexual struggles – whether their struggles are with pre-marital sex, lustful thoughts, pornography, or masturbation – in an environment where they are safe and free from judgment and can get the help they need? I’m not sure the church has done a good job talking about sex and we could be doing so much better!
Sex is still treated as taboo in the church, but it is a much needed conversation.Sex is still treated as taboo in the church, but it is a much needed conversation. Click To Tweet
So if you find yourself single, saved, and still wanting sex and your church just won’t talk about it, try these 3 things:
- Pray and seek a church or small group where discussions and questions about sex are not only welcomed, but looked at through a Biblical lens. The church or small group should tell it like it is. They should be both able to be brutally honest about your pre-marital sex, lustful desires, porn-watching, or masturbation being a sin, but also able to offer the support you need to overcome. Support could include an accountability partner (someone you can talk to openly about your sexual struggles), prayer, and even counseling if its become an addiction. The church or small group should be a safe place for conversations and getting the support you need.
- When you do find that church, small group, or accountability partner, be willing to be transparent about your sexual struggles. Oftentimes, other people have the same struggles you do, but are afraid to voice it. We sometimes feel like we’re the only ones dealing with sexual struggles, but the truth is, many people are. So don’t be afraid to be open and honest about your struggles. You’re not the only one!
- The most important thing of all is to seek the Lord regarding your sexual struggles and to renew your mind regarding sex! This can be done whether you’ve found that church, small group, or accountability partner or whether you are still searching. God sees sex as a beautiful thing for married couples. In fact, He invented it. It’s the highest level of intimacy you could have, besides your relationship with God. But oftentimes, this beautiful thing can be distorted and become sin – as we engage in it for our own selfish desires and before its timing. So seek the Lord and find out His true purpose and desire for sex.
As a church, no, we haven’t been the best about talking about sex. But I do believe we are trying more to have discussions. If you have questions and need to have those discussions: pray and seek a church that will do that with you, be transparent about your struggles, and above all, seek the Lord and His truths about sex.
Has your church or small group done a good job talking about sex? If so, comment below!
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