Dear Future Husband: I’m Not Waiting On You

Dear Future Husband,

I’m sure you are worth the wait, but I’m not waiting on you!

Of course, as a Christian woman, I will wait on you in terms of purity. Because the Bible says my body is a temple – not my own, bought with a price, therefore, I should honor God with it (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). And I will wait on your pursuit. Because he who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). But this letter is not about waiting in terms of purity or your pursuit.

It’s about that thing that we as single women do – where we wait to do the things God has called us to do until we meet you! We push off buying homes, starting ministries, going on mission trips. Because for some reason, we feel we can’t do these things until we have our husbands by our sides. And that’s just not true!

Dear future husband, I’m not other women and I’m not waiting on you!

If He calls me to buy a home, I’m buying it! And I will open up my home for Bible studies, for cooking meals, and for those who just need to sit and have someone to talk with. If He calls me to start a ministry, I’m starting it! And I will minister to whomever, however He calls me to. Maybe I will minister to other women, teen girls, or young children – maybe through sports, mentoring, or even through poetry. And if He calls me to go on mission, I’m going! Whether it be to some remote village in Africa, to a school in Guatemala, or who knows, to a city where I finally meet you.

But dear future husband, I’m not waiting on you! I’m not waiting on you to do the things God has called me to do.

And you should not wait on me. There is purpose to our singleness – and things that you could be doing for the Lord, even before you ever lay your eyes on me!

So, dear future husband, I’m going to do the things He calls me to. And you’re going to do the things He calls you to. Our work for the Lord will not begin the day we meet!

Rather, before two singles’ ministries become one, we will have already begun the work the Lord has set out before us.


Your Future Wife

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  1. “or who knows, to a city where I finally meet you.”

    In all seriousness, there are plenty of real-life stories where God calls a single Christian to a city and this is what happened. I admire your commitment to follow God ardently and passionately. I am praying for you.

    1. Yes, I believe the Lord can truly write our love stories and is definitely capable of bringing two people together in extraordinary ways.

      Thank you for your kind words and prayers!

  2. Yes girl yes! I love the heart behind this and definitely a truth I’m trying to live out. Seizing every season I’m in, especially my singleness.

    Also I love how it’s very easy to read and your voice just shines through! Im definitely going to continue coming back to read your blog! (:

  3. Thanks for sharing! Even as a wife I can relate – God and his calling comes first. He does amazing things – and – we never know what’s coming next! ❤️
    He must become greater; I must become less. – John 3:30 – love this ❤️

  4. Thanks for sharing! Even as a wife I can relate – God and his calling comes first. He does amazing things – and – we never know what’s coming next! ❤️
    John 3:30 – love this ❤️

  5. I love this! Yes. God made marriage a central feature of many of our lives, but it is not the only way we glorify him. I’m so refreshed to hear that you’re not ‘waiting on him’. Great post!

  6. “Rather, before two singles’ ministries become one, we will have already begun the work the Lord has set out before us”.
    Wow! I love this 🙂 blessings

  7. Right on! At one point I realized I was holding back a lot of things “until I meet him”, then I realized how crazy that is. How much more beautiful it is to be busy about the Lord’s work, fulfilled in Him, and He chooses to surprise you with your mate?

  8. Thank you for sharing this! I definitely can relate. I am now pursuing what God has for me and when him and I meet we will share our journey with one another and enjoy a new journey together! Being single is not sad or sorry, it’s liberating! Makes you cling to Christ more, learn who you are in
    Him and just grow daily to be whom He created us to be!
    You rock, thanks again for this! Grace and peace! ☺

    1. “Being single is not sad or sorry, it’s liberating! Makes you cling to Christ more…”

      Absolutely love that and I agree 100%. We have the time to really devote ourselves to what God desires of us.

  9. Really, really needed to read this. To be honest, this is something that ALL single ladies need to read. It’s a growing struggle as our society say we “need” have be engaged or married by the time you’re in your early 20’s. I struggle with this, and some days is just so difficult. But your post is the way to handle waiting & being single with intention, grace, and obedience to God.

    1. Thanks for reading. So glad you enjoyed!

      I admit singleness can be a struggle sometimes, but there’s so much beauty and freedom to our singleness that we oftentimes overlook!

  10. This is such a beautiful take on typical “dear future husband” letters! I frequently right to my future guy (and post about it sometimes), but I love your fresh take! Awesome post 🙂

    1. Thanks for reading! 😊
      I always liked the idea of writing to your future husband, but just wanted to put a different spin on it. We wait eagerly for husbands, but can sometimes overlook the what we could be doing for God during the wait!

  11. Love it! I followed God’s calling for me to do missions work during my season of singleness and I met my husband at the Bible School he was attending, we are both now missionaries together. Singleness is too great a season to waste!

    1. That’s awesome! Glad to hear that you followed God’s calling for your life. It’s always refreshing to hear a story of how God can lead two people together when they ate following Him!

  12. Alisha – AMEN ! Although I am married and was when I was 20 years old, I appreciate you speaking truth to young women and well women of all ages who are sitting on the sidelines just waiting for her man to come along. God doesn’t want anyone sitting on the sidelines waiting, when He has already given the GO signal. Blessings to you and I am so glad to have you linking up with the community at #TuneInThursday sorry, I has taken me longer than normal to pop on over and read your post. I hope to see you again this week.

    1. Amen! So true – God doesn’t want us waiting on the sidelines until we’re married to start doing things for Him. We have a lot of freedom as singles to do the many things He has called us to do.

      Thanks for stopping by. Looking forward to connecting more on #TuneinThursday

  13. Love the message of this Alisha and the truth of all God can and does do through the life of a single woman seeking after Him! So glad to have you on #FreshMarketFriday linkup! Welcome!!

  14. Alisha, this is so special for me to read. I am 69 and have been married twice. #2 is God’s man for me and I am God’s for him. But…I certainly would have liked to have been wise and able to hear God’s call for me back before I met husband #1. Many mistakes and lots of struggle, but God knew my heart and brought me near and saved this precious man for me. It took from 32 years of age til I was 45 before I met Ken. But I learned much and now am so blessed to be under Ken’s umbrella and he is under God’s with me next to him. I pray for you and am so grateful that you are my neighbor at Meghan’s today.

    1. Thank you so much for reading!

      And that is a lovely story – that’s awesome what God did in your life – bring you His love after heartache. And it’s awesome how He can show us our calling even later on in life after we’ve gone through so many things!

  15. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

    It took me YEARS to swallow this truth! While I praise God for the “single struggle”, I praise Him for the freedom that comes with accepting His perfect will and the teaching ministry He’s called me to. #Liberated

    God blessed you to a phenomenal job on this post! With His help, continue to be a blessing His people!



    1. Glad to hear you have found freedom in your Singleness and am doing the things He’s called you to do!

      Thank you for your encouragement and reading this post! ❤

  16. I fully agree with this post! Be led by the Spirit, don’t delay on what He has called you to do! I’m sure there is a solid purpose to your singlehood. Praying for you Alisha! Thumbs up! 🙂

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