As a single woman, I pray for many things. But these are the 5 things that I pray for the most and that seem to have had the biggest impact on my single life:
Discipline. As a single woman, I have been granted time that a married woman just doesn’t have. But as a single, I must pray about being disciplined over how I spend my time – using my time wisely when it comes to prayer, reading the Word, and spending time with God. Being careful not to dwindle away this precious time on lesser things – like binge-watching my favorite Netflix series or napping my Saturdays away (not to say these things are bad in moderation, but they should not be priority over my time with God). Not only should I be disciplined in the spiritual things, but in the practical things as well, such as how I spend my money (careful not spend everything I make).
To realize singleness is not all about preparation for marriage. It’s not a “waiting room” until you finally enter marriage. With so many posts about How to Meet Your Boaz and Live Happily Ever After and How to Get Married in 10 Days (I’m kidding!), it can feel that way. But singleness is about God’s glory and sanctification – just like any other season. There’s a real beauty to singleness! In 1 Corinthians, Paul describes this beauty as being free from concern and being able to give the Lord undivided devotion that a married person just can’t (because they are divided between pleasing their spouse and pleasing the Lord). As a single, I’m able to spend a lot of time serving, discipling, and in community with other believers. I’m able to travel or even move to another city if the Lord would call me to. I’m not just single to prep for marriage – I’m single because the Lord sees this season as what’s best for me and is using this season to draw me near to Him. And I pray not to forget this.
Singleness is not a waiting room for marriage - rather it is about God's glory and sanctification. Click To TweetTo let go and learn from past failed relationships. It’s easy to cling to the things of the past – whether it’s a failed marriage, a relationship that finally ended with your college or high school sweetheart, or a bad relationship with the father of your kids. It’s easy to keep re-hashing every terrible memory and replaying every malicious word ever said. Never allowing the wounds from the past to heal just like a child who continues to pick at their scabs. But eventually, and with God’s help, you have to let it go. You have to accept it for what it was – the good and the bad. But most of all, you have to learn from it – learn to choose differently, learn when to walk away, learn red flags and to follow your discernment when it tells you something just isn’t right. Even learn where you were wrong in that relationship (because it’s easy to only look at what was done to you and never look at what you did to the other person). Pray to let go, learn from it, and then, eventually one day, move on!
Pray to let go, learn from it, and then eventually one day, move on from past failed relationships! Click To TweetTo forgive, even if no apology was ever given. Pray to forgive the ex who never apologized for doing you dirty. Pray to forgive the negligent parent who wasn’t there to raise you. Pray to forgive yourself. Pray to forgive that person who did those unspeakable acts to you that keep your heart so locked up only Christ can break the chains and set it free. Forgive. Easier said than done. But our sole existence as Christians is based on God’s forgiveness – that He loved us so much that He would forgive us for our sins and give His only Son to die on the cross for those sins. And if we call ourselves true followers of Christ – we have to forgive just as our Father forgave us.
If we call ourselves true followers of Christ - we have to forgive just as our Father forgave us. Click To TweetMaturity. Pray to grow up in the Lord. Pray that you live in accordance with God’s will for your life – not that you live any which way ignoring His commands. But that you live to do His work and His will – going to the places He calls you to go, working the jobs He calls you to work, marrying the person He calls you to marry, and being the woman or man of God He calls you to be. Pray that He takes you through trials and tribulations of many kinds, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Pray, not only to grow older, but to actually grow up in the Lord!
As a single, what do you pray for? Comment below.
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Also, check out the other blogs in PRAYER SERIES: Why I Don’t Pray: 3 Not So Great Excuses, A Prayer for the Single Woman Still Wounded by Love, and What to Pray When You Want to be Used by God
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These were great thoughts on singleness! It is so refreshing to hear your perspective. I love to see any person living life right where they are to the glory of God! I love the Jim Elliot quote, “Wherever you are, be all there!” My God bless you and give you joy as you follow and serve Him!
Thanks for the encouraging words!
And I’ve heard that quote, but I love it! ❤
“To let go and learn from past failed relationships. ” I love point 3. I couldn’t agree more.. Letting go is so hard but then we really find freedom.
Amen! So true!
Alisha – you are a passionate, powerful women – I love it! I love how you are tackling this topic of singleness and I know it will speak volumes to others as well. Thanks for linking up with me at #TuneInThursday last week, I sure hope to see you again this week
Thanks, Debbie, so much for the encouraging words and the chance to link up with other like-minded bloggers. Looking forward to more of #TuneInThursday
Thanks for being an awesome encouragement through this list. All tough stuff but that’s why we pray, we know we can’t do it on our own.
Thanks for reading! Glad you were encouraged!
Thank you for the reminders, Alisha. In our culture, you’d think our entire purpose in life is to be swept off our feet by Mr. Perfect. Too bad Mr. Perfect isn’t real. 😉 I absolutely love what you said about singleness being so much more than a “waiting room” until marriage. Our flesh’s default is discontentment and a “the grass is always greener” mentality. What I’ve learned (the hard way) is that discontentment in singleness leads to discontentment in a relationship. Great post! I found you in the Christian Women Bloggers Unite Facebook group. 🙂
Glad that you were encouraged through this post!
And you are so right when you say that discontentment in singleness will just lead to discontentment in a relationship! Christ is definitely the only One who can satisfy, but we often look for that satisfaction in other people (been guilty of this myself).
What a wonderful post! Thank you for your thought on this prayers.
I agree on your points! As a single Christian woman who also blogs on singleness, I would also add finding your worth in Christ and not in a man and/or a relationship status. More times than not, we don’t know God’s plans only that they’re good so when our timetable isn’t lining up with God’s, it can lead to frustration. So many single women are asking themselves, if I’m not getting married, what now?”. I know I’ve asked myself this so many times.
Thanks for sharing your heart and encouraging single women where they are 🙂
Liv
That’s a great point to add – finding your worth only in Christ and not a man and/or a relationship status. Finding our worth in that instead of Christ can wreck havoc on our single lives!
Thanks for reading!
Number two is my favorite… I wrote a post on just that point… Life is so much more than people make it out to be. There’s so much more a single person can do, so many more places a single person can go, and so many more people that a single person can reach. Singles need to take advantage of the fact that they aren’t tied down to a specific place or schedule, dependent on another person’s input. Our purpose is to love God, and others, and just because we don’t have husband and children to love, doesn’t mean we have to come up empty. I wish I had taken better advantage of my ministry opportunities before I got married and had kids.
Thanks for reading and commenting! I love when married people provide their input on singleness – it often brings things into a better perspective for a single like me. As a single, it’s easy to not see the benefits of being single (as you listed) and to use up all our time just thinking and waiting on marriage.
Your encouraging comments to us single girls help! ❤
Great advice!
great tips on living the single life well and intentionally.
5 more items to pray for a single :
6) purity
7) A devotion and reverence for holiness
8) virtue, that God will restore the broken walls from relationships not in His will or out of His timing.
9) A plan for purpose to use purity as a campaign for turning the world upside down like the disciples in the book of Acts did for bringing souls to Christ.
10) A desire to go and make disciples so we can make sure we are not isolated from the broken and lost souls who need to know Jesus loves them, God the Father gave His Son for the propitiation of sinners like you or I.
Those are some great things for a single to pray about! I especially love point #5 and #10 – purity and making disciples!
Blessing to read…so sensibly written..
Great article thank you for sharing.